Death My Escape from Life

Dear Friends,

            Last night I wrote about wishing I had an Escape Button to leave this life of suffering. Sometimes I wish life came with a refund policy, if you don’t like it you would get your money back and sent back to where we all came from. This letter may remind those of you who have read my poems on Death. Please don’t think that I am suicidal with what I am about to write. I am not going to try to kill myself again. Yes, I said again, because I have tried many years ago.

            Lately I have been kind of depressed at the way my life is going. The many regrets I have collected over the years since High School. How old do you have to be to have a mid-life crisis? Because it feels like I am having one now. There are lots of things I wanted to do in this life, but I don’t have the money to do it. Sometimes I wish I should’ve become a Buddhist Monk and live the rest of my life out in a remote peaceful Temple somewhere on the edge of a cliff.

            Is death my only escape from life? Is there a way we can leave this world with a trial period to see if it’s really for us? Don’t you want to know what Heaven or the Pure Land is like before we choose to go there? Ok, lets change the subject for the moment, what do you do that makes you feel so alive? When I dance the Bon Odori at O’bon, is what makes me feel so alive, so connected to this earth we are living on. It’s just a strange trance like feeling I get sometimes, when nothing else in the world matters except for that very moment.

            As I stated in yesterday’s piece on the escape button, it’s the place I want to be transported to when I press the button. That place of complete peace of mind, a different place then this. Just like when you die, the place we all go and exist in the afterlife. That’s where I want to be.

JEL

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